Speaking for the victim

In this post, I would like to clarify and speak for the victims. Does the victim not deserve justice as well? Yes, they do!

However, it is also fair to take the life of another child and basically make it a living hell? No!

In this post I would like to speak my opinions on the debate. I believe that there needs to be a fairness and an equality in the system. If an ADULT offender can get less time than a juvenile offender, then how is this fair?

My whole point to this blog is the fact that children are being held to a HIGHER standard that adult offenders are. What makes an adult offender more special than a child? I believe that our children should be at LEAST treated as equal to an adult in court. Which sadly, they are not. How can some adults go to prison for 25 years with the possibility of parole,while a child can do life without the possibility of parole? How can some adults go to prison for 18 months for having sex with a minor, while a child does 5 years?

How can we as sane,reasonable, and responsible adults advocate for such a barbaric system? Are we really speaking for the victims when we hold our children up to a HIGHER standard than an adult? If there was equality throughout the whole juvenile/adult system there would be no need for a blog such as mine.

The victims of such crimes do deserve justice, but at what price do we give it to them. If someone murdered my daughter, I ask myself everyday what would be fitting for that person? Would taking that person's life away bring my daughter back? Would putting that person in prison for life bring her back? Why should I pay for my daughter's killer to live for free and get 3 meals a day and free medical care? I also ask myself would my daughter have wanted me to take the life of someone else away from them? My answers are always I don't think so. I truly believe that a harsher punishment would be to force the person that committed the crime to do something DAILY that would remind them of the life they took away. I always imagine that the guilt and never being allowed to forget would be the worse punishment anyone could have.

Thank god that that is only a scenerio I think of when I think of the victoms. I truly cannot imagine what the parents, siblings and relatives of these victims go through. However, I do try to imagine how I would feel if that was me as the mother of a victim.

I would also like to speak from a victim's point of view. I too was a victim. I was sexually abused as a child by someone that our family knew well. He was a respected member of the community. His activities remained hidden for years. He had at least 3 other victims that I KNEW of. Did anything happen to him? Sadly, no. When I finally got old enough to understand that what he was doing was wrong and could be reported, I did report him. This man molested and raped me from the time I was 5 years old till I was 14 years old. At 14, I realized what he was doing was not normal and was wrong. I went to the police, and turned him in. They *investigated* and it was determined that there was NOT enough evidence to convict him.

I ask you, where is the fairness in that? Both adults and children are sent to prisons and facilities every day for as much evidence as we had in the above mentioned case. Some spend years? Why was this man above treated any different from anyone else? My only answer is, his connections, he respected status in the community.

Did I want that man to spend the rest of his life in jail? No,at 14 I only wanted it to stop.I only wanted to be protected from what this man was doing to me. I got that. He was not allowed near me after that. However, as I got older I started thinking about what would have been fitting for him. I believe the most fitting punishment for this man would to have had to do some type of service that would remind him of the innocence destroyed. Or maybe he would have gotten a punishment that would have reminded him of me, his victim, every single day. As I sit here and write this and think about it, a more fitting punishment for him would have been to have to make a donation in my name every month to a victims awareness group.

Would his sitting in jail for me to pay for all his expenses bring back my innocence? Would it have changed that fact that he did what he did? NO! Would it make life for his victims better or any other victim better? No! Would his having to donate to a cause for victims make things better for victims? Yes!

I do agree that there are some offenders beyond our help. There are some offenders that will NEVER feel any remorse for what they have done. It is those offenders that I DO NOT speak for. I only speak for the ones that could and would benefit from rehabilitation.

How many offenders have come out of the system and made a change for the better and NOW do advocate for change? How many of them do work for a better world? Maybe not as many as we like, but they are there.

There are enough offenders in our system that do make a stupid mistake and then regret ever making it. Should we take their life away from them? Both adult and children alike? Shouldn't we show compassion for them and ask for rehabilitation and all the support services we can provide?

I ask you,if you raised your children to be kind and compassionate and responsible adults. Would those same children have the *bloodlust* we do? Would they want their offenders to have their life taken as well?

The victims cry out to us to being their offenders to justice. But what kind of justice? What price do the victims really want their offenders to pay? What price would you want your own offender to pay?

If someone took your life, does taking their life bring you back? Does letting them sit in a prison somewhere for your family to pay for, bring you back? Wouldn't you rather that your life help better the world and another victims life in some way? Wouldn't you rather that the person that took your life be reminded of you and what he did every day?

It is within my belief that while yes, there may be some juvenile offenders that will be beyond help. There may be some juvenile offenders that will continue to re-offend no matter how much we try to rehabilitate them. There are many others that rehabilitation will help. There are many others that are currently sitting in prisons and juvenile facilities regretting their stupid mistake. There are many others that truly do feel remorse for what they have done.

There are cases, where the question of trying 11 year olds as adults are arising. Did we picture this when we thought that trying children as adults may be the answer to rising juvenile crimes? Did we really want to send an 11 year old child to prison for 30 years to life and sometimes without the possibility of parole? I mean sure, most likely that 11 year old would sit in a juvenile facility till he or she is 18 years of age, but that does NOT always happen. Look at your own 11 year old child, grandchild, niece, nephew, or any other child close to you. Would you want that child if he or she committed a crime going to prison for the rest of his or her life?

If we continue with this, it just may very well happen to you. You may sit there and say, "Oh no,not my child,I raised them right and I taught them right from wrong." I'm betting that a majority of the parents with children in the system thought the same thing. I know I did and STILL my child lost 5 years of his life.

We cannot control what our children are doing when they are OUT of our sight. However, we can control how the system and society treats them if they do something wrong. We can control destroying their young lives, by advocating and voting against these same barbaric laws that are being made to destroy their lives.

We can both honor and bring justice for the victims without having to destroy another life. Destroying another life WILL NOT bring the victim back. It will NOT change what happened. The only thing that will change is the fact that the offender is now sitting behind bars and your paying for it.

Yes, YOU the parents/siblings/aunts/uncles/grandparents and the community as a whole is paying for YOUR child's offender to live a life possibly better than your own. Can you afford to put 3 square meals a day on your table? Can you afford your own healthcare? Can you afford to pay this month's electric/heating/water/cable/phone bills? Just think we pay all of that for our victim's offenders.

Paying for them wouldn't be so bad if it benefited the victims in some way. Shouldn't we be forcing these offenders to not only try to rehabilitate, but also to be working for victims awareness? Shouldn't we be forcing them to write letters about their offense and how they think that their offenses affected others and the victim? Shouldn't they be making donations in the names of their victims on a month to month basis to a victims awareness group? Shouldn't they be doing things that will benefit the same communities that are affected by their crimes? Is sitting in a facility going to bring this about?

As a child, I remember if I had gotten in trouble at school for something; I would be made write sentences saying I will not... I never forgot the thing again that I was not supposed to do. I also remember when I was a child that if I had gotten into an arguement with another child, that my mother always used to make me write a letter of apology to the other child. My mother used to make me include how our arguement would affect the other child. Trust me I didn't argue with another child very often because my mother's punishment always made me think about how the other child would feel. If I was bad in school, my mother would also make me write a letter of apology to the teacher including how my actions would have affected the teacher in class. I didn't get in much trouble when I was in school.

I can also speak from another point of view when it comes to an offender. The year I was 14, I lost my hearing permenantly. I started skipping school at 10 years old. I was sent to many different facilities for skipping school. I was in Detention Centers, a youth group home, and a foster home. All for skipping school. Then finally, when I was 16 someone realized that hey, maybe she is skipping school because of her hearing problems. That is when they started looking into a place for someone like me. They found the school for the deaf. They finally got me hearing aids. They finally taught me to sign. Boy was I in my element!! I was so happy to be a part of a world that I could understand and truly fit into. I was a diffent kid when they put me into that school! Remember, skipping school made ME a juvenile offender. Did their putting me in all these instutions make me stop skipping school? Nope, not until they put me into the place I truly needed to be; the school for the deaf.

So you see, sometimes there are reasons why an offender would act out. Sometimes it does help to delve into family life and social lives. Sometimes it does help to look beyond and look into the soul of the offender. Sometimes, even the simplest answer can make a world of difference. Sometimes, it only takes one person to care to bring about change. Sometimes, all that these children need is someone to care about them and show them the love they desperately crave.

Another point of view I ask you to take is what if this were your son or daughter in trouble? How would you feel then? Would you not care about the victim? My answer is no you still do care about the victim. However, would you not also care about what happens to your son or daughter? Would you also not want to save them? Would you also not want to see them punished for they have done wrong?

My answers are yes you do care about the victim. We do have concerns for our children's victims. When my son did wrong, I encouraged the parents of the other child to go to the authorities. And I still would. However, I also care about what happens to my son and so would you. Yes, we want them punished, but we do not want their lives taken away from them. And neither would you if it was your own.

There are NO 100% answers on what is right or what is wrong. But there is a duty to each and every one of us to care about our fellow human beings, even when they do wrong. We do have a duty to try to continuously make this world a better place. We do have a duty to not only protect the victims and innocents but also to protect against our society becoming one where we victimize the offenders.

This system of ours is a very broken one. When do we wake up and realize this and repair what is broken? When do we wake up and realize that if we are going to treat children as adults that they should and do deserve the same rights as adults? We say a child is too young to drink, smoke, have sex, and have children of their own. But at the same time we say a child is old enough to stand trial as an adult and serve time in adult facilities. When does a child become an adult? 11? 15? 17? In our society a child is considered a minor till the age of 18. So then I ask you, why are 17 year olds sitting in ADULT prisons and not a minor or juvenile facility? If a child is old enough to serve a sentence of life without the possibility of parole, is not a child also old enough to enjoy the same rights as all other adults?

Some of you may say that this is not the same thing and does not equal to the same rights. I ask you truly, does it not? If we can treat a child as an adult in our justice system, why is it that we cannot treat them as an adult in every day life? We balk at treating our children as adults UNTIL they do something wrong. What is wrong with that picture?

All I ask of you is to read this and hopefully make you think alot deeper on this very touchy subject. All I ask of you is to open your mind and think of another side. All I ask of you is to look at the possibility of BOTH your child or a child close to you, being a victim AND an offender. When you look at that possibility open your mind to what you would wish for in either case.

Thank you!

Another Child Locked Up In County Jail With Adults Awaiting Trial

I suggest that everyone read Torey's story.

Proof That Our Children ARE NOT Held in Juvenile Facilities Until they are 18 or 21

S.C. Teen Asks Governor To Stop Transfer To Adult Prison

POSTED: 5:37 pm EDT October 10, 2006

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Governor Mark Sanford says he will not stop a teen's transfer to an adult prison.

Attorneys for Christopher Pittman asked the governor to keep the teen in a juvenile facility. But the governor's spokesman says the 17-year-old should be treated just like any other inmate.

Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer says the case "is certainly a tragic situation for everyone involved."

Pittman was convicted last year of murdering his grandparents when he was 12 years old. The state Supreme Court heard oral arguments in his appeal last week.

The high court refused Tuesday to halt Pittman's transfer. Pittman is scheduled to be moved Thursday.

The court has not yet ruled on Pittman's appeal.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004295473_webjuveniles20m.html

Forums about the juvenile justice system

I just want to make a post about some of the forums that you can join to advocate for a better juvenile justice system.

In these forums, you will find many many stories about the children within the system. Most of these stories are very heartbreaking. Many of them will make you feel outrage!


I think that the only way that this will ever change is if people started caring about something other than what happens to themselves. Why does it take a personal tragedy or it to happen to you for you to care?

If you started caring now, you would be able to prevent it from happening to you.


I strongly urge you to not only to take a look at these forums, but to join them and to start caring about what this system is doing. Please, dont join the forums, unless your gonna start caring today and really do something to help.

These kids need a voice. Will you help them get one? Or will you continue to not care until it happens to you?

http://whoopassforjustice.org
http://kidsincourt.net

My son is finally home!!!

Hey all sorry I haven't posted to this blog in a long time, but that is because my son came home on November 17th, 2008. Since he has been home it has been very busy doing all the things that needs to be done to meet the terms of his parole and plus to get his health check ups.

He is very happy to be home as well as the rest of the family is happy to have him home.

Hopefully, very soon my son and I will be posting and keeping you up to date on the juvenile justice system.

Frontline: Juvenile Justice

Click the title link and read this website. It is an excellent arguement both for and against trying juveniles in adult court. This site is very informative and lets you be the judge.